Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences. When we’re confident, we’re more likely to move forward with people and opportunities — not back away from them. And if things don’t work out at first, confidence helps us try again. It’s the opposite when confidence is low. It is a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances
Continuing from where I stopped in the last series below are other practical guides on how to build your self a confidence.
8. Improve your Weaknesses and Magnify your Strength
According to an online source, Strengths are defined as character traits or skills that are considered positive. Strengths include knowledge, attributes, skills, and talents.
While Weaknesses are just the opposite. Weaknesses are defined as character traits or skills that are considered negative or not as well developed. Weaknesses include blind spots, poorly developed skills, or problematic personal behaviours. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time. Most likely all of these weaknesses are skills you can build over time.
9. Learn how to say NO
Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of, one of the reasons I (Temitayo Abudu) am called The Glossophobia Disruptive Coach, you are free to contact me for solutions on how to conquer your fear.
Saying no is important at times. Reflect on past times you wish you would have said “no” and visualize how you would do it differently the next time.
Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.
Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is your answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.
This is the best time to magnify your strength and confront your weakness and live in confidence.
Your weakness will bring about low self-esteem and invariably affect your level of self-confidence.
Do not permit your weaknesses to belittle your future achievement and present capacity. “You can be all you desire to be if you are willing to magnify and constantly improve on your strength and passionately deal with your weaknesses”
10. Be True To Your Personality
Your personality is the type of person you are, shown by the way you behave, feel and think.
It is also the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character.
Drawing from the above meaning of personality, it is pertinent to stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect of you, this will only diminish your confidence level. To build your self-confidence, it is axiomatic to be your authentic self, the one who knows what to do and loves what they do. If you can bring this authenticity into your work life, you’ll be surprised at how positively others will react to you. No one can live in confidence without first identifying their unique self. Don’t try to be like other people, rather develop your inner treasure and cultivate the habit of appreciating the beauty of your inner mind.
In addition, know what you are passionate about. While your values are the motivation behind your goals, your passions can provide the focus needed to reach them. You will know you are passionate about something if it holds your interest for extended periods of time. If you build a career (or even a hobby) around these passions, you will remain happier and more fulfilled than if you neglect them. Above all, always ensure you develop your personality, as this will enhance your self-confidence.
11. Avoid People Who Drain Your Precious Efforts
According to the dictionary, effort is the physical or mental activity needed to achieve something.
It is also a vigorous or determined attempt. We all put in effort towards attaining our set goals or objective, once the goal is attained we become confident and dare to pursue another set goal.
It is paramount to build your self-confidence as this will enhance your relevance in the palace of great achievers. I beseech you not to let people put you down. If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on. Trust me, once you’ve made your opinion known concerning their approach towards you, they’ll change, and you will, too.
More so, they either change to leave or change to remain, whichever way it is, you will have a win-win situation. Inevitably, you’ll boost both your confidence and happiness by taking control of your life in this way. Learn how to get out of toxic relationships and embrace people with a positive mindset.
12. Don’t be shy to ask for help when needed
In the journey becoming and relevance, no one knows or has it all. Therefore, asking for help is not synonymous to low self-esteem, rather it is a way to boost your self-confidence where you might be a bit out of capacity.
This is a common issue. We take on way too many responsibilities and end up either burning ourselves out or just doing a bad job!
The secret is to put the vast majority of your energy and efforts into what you do well. Give the stuff you don’t do well to others who have a gift for it. Sometimes the most confident and effective thing to do is ask for help.
13. Appreciate Your Little Wins
We all are encourage to do more, when ever we are appreciated for what has been done. This also applies to us individually, no matter how little your achievement may be, learn to celebrate and appreciate yourself, this will build your self-confidence.
Recall a time when you did a great job.
Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position, and you were firing on all cylinders. What were you doing, and what’s the reason it felt so great? Can you emulate that passion and drive that you had? No one gets to the pinnacle of his/her life without being encouraged for the progress made. Never look down on any of your wins, it’s worth celebrating.
You build your self confidence by appreciating yourself, this elevate your inner mind and invariably create a positive mental attitude in you.
You can be who you desire to be, if you can be grateful for the strength and treasure deposited in you
14. Admit You’re Wrong
It may not be easy, but you should always be prepared to hold your hands up and change your mind if things are going south.
Not every idea you have will be a winning one. The trick is to know when things are not working out. You can either attempt to get them back on track or kill them off completely (sometimes that’s the best way). Nobody is an Iceland of knowledge, proving to know it all, will belittle you before men and invariably diminish your confidence level. In building your self confidence it is mandatory to be intentional and also be willing to take to correction. You can not be right all of the time. We learn to unlearn in order to relearn, this is the only way forward. You can also build your confidence level by not depending on your own strength alone. Be Your Own Hero.
You are your number one loyal fan. And in any circumstances, no one can value you more than yourself.
Therefore, you must recognize that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in—no matter how tough the going gets.
“Tough times don’t last, only tough people do”
We all love movies like Die Hard where ordinary people are driven to super-ordinary feats. But here’s the rub: you can be your own action hero.
Whatever the situation, meet it head on and overcome it. Keep in mind the classic phrase: “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
You will be regarded as someone with confidence, if and only if you can stand in the face of adversity.
15. Be the hero you will always want to celebrate.
Be Around People Who Make You Feel Like You. Dear great minds, for you to build remarkable self-confidence, it is axiomatic that you let go of people who will add no value to your life.
Do this by spending more time with the people who support and encourage you and less time with those who undermine you. At work, don’t be ruined by negative, petty people. Instead, make sure you surround yourself with colleagues who make you laugh and feel good about yourself. These practical methods can help you learn to build self-confidence and help eliminate the negative people, thoughts, and events that happen regularly in your life. Learning to adopt healthy and positive tools and methods helps you quickly develop an approach to a life of confidence and courage. Associate with people who will add to your value and multiply your little efforts to have a greater result.
Author
Temitayo Abudu
Disruptive Coach
The Glossophobia
GDC
