I got a call from a friend of mine yesterday.
He appealed to me to help him with a loan which he intends to repay when he gets his salary at the end of the month.
He said his mother was ill, and he needed money to pay the hospital bill.
I felt great pity for him at that moment. Here was a young man, barely over 25 years of age; who earns less than forty thousand Naira per month; having to pay a hospital bill for his mother amounting to the same sum – Forty thousand Naira, which is his entire salary.
Ultimately, it means after paying the bill, the young guy will be penniless till the next month. All because he didn’t have a mother who could cater for herself; a mother who is relying on her son for her sustenance.
This got me thinking.
Now, I don’t know about their story and what my friend and his mother must have gone through in the past.
I do not know what transpired that led to the woman relying on her son for financial aid.
I am not out to judge anyone. But the fact remains that most of the old folk in Nigeria have this attitude of seeing their children as their retirement plan; their pension plan if I may put it that way.
They often raise their kids with an unwholesome intention of turning themselves into a burden on their children when they get old. Their kids become their business investment.
These sets of parent invest money to nurture their kids, put them through school, so the child should “pay them back” for all they did.
This became a burden to me having seen several cases around. So I couldn’t help but reflect upon this again when my friend told me about his predicament with his mother’s health.
Yes, your child must show appreciation to you the parent, but only as a gesture and not a duty or as a compensation.
That is the problem.
Most parents see it as a duty and a necessity that their children must take care of them.
That is why, in their selfishness they make no real effort during their youth to build up an inheritance and a legacy as a foundation for their children to build their lives and future upon.
This is one of the major reasons most of the youth today are having such a hard time getting by; coupled with the terrible economic situation in the country.
There is nothing more honorable, noble, glorious and self-actualizing for a parent to raise their children and set them on their way having no need for their help financially or materially.
This can only be the case when they have built up an establishment, a machinery, and a legacy which will furnish them with all their needs till their dying day. Hence, allowing their children to live their lives without being a burden on them.
Author: Max Umeh